Lesson learned......Amen!

So I wanted to share with you all the amazing experience I had today...

Ok, so I haven't paid tithing for a while....judge me now if you must....I know I'm horrible. Last Sunday, I had a feeling I should pay my tithing for the last 2 paychecks. Now, i want you to know this is a big thing because I am broke with a big B. R. O. K. E! Well, I struggled with myself for a little bit and decided I needed to be obedient and do the right thing. So I did it with a very scared feeling because I knew I wouldn't have any money left. Here's the good part.. yes, there's a good part!

Today, I was talking to the Bishop in my ward and he asked me how I was doing and how school was etc.. the usual. Then he said, "ok besides all that other stuff..how are you?" Now I thought for a minute and said, well I'm stressed, but life goes on. He looked at me for a minute, gazing at me with those Bishop eyes we all know and love, and said.."I know you don't like to ask for help and have a hard time accepting help....but I want to help you.. I know you're having money issues." (this is the part where my jaw drops and I start crying)

How could he have known? Well, I'll tell you how. I had sincerely prayed last night for help with money. I feel horrible for imposing upon people and prayed for a miracle. I also fasted today for the same thing. He could never have known any of that about me (especially the hating to ask for help part) unless he was in tune with the spirit. I realized right there that I was being watched over and that I am never alone. Taking that leap of faith into the dark unknown blessed me in ways I never knew it could. The Bishop has offered to help me with my rent for this month until my student loan comes through (heaven forbid - stupid loan). My heart is full of so much gratitude for the Lord and for a Bishop that is sensitive to the spirit.

I want you all to know that I'm just fine. I do struggle with money just like everyone else does. It's nothing out of the ordinary.. that I know of. I think this was more of a testimony strengthening experience for me. I realize now how much I needed to know I wasn't alone and how great it is to feel the spirit so strongly that you can't ever deny the truth of the gospel.

I want you all to know that my testimony has grown so much today! I shared this experience with my ward today in church. I bawled..of course...but I do not regret sharing it. My bishop even shared his testimony about it.. I guess he was that touched by it. So was I, so that's good. What a wonderful bishop!

Anyway.. I hope this story makes your day a little brighter. You are not alone and you are special in the Lord's eyes. His opinion is the only one that really matters, so don't put yourself down and know that you're loved! And I love you too!!!!!!!!!!

I miss every one of you and I think about you all the time! Love you!